Pairing(s)/Characters: Kyuhyun, HaeWook
Genre: crack, implied!smut
Disclaimer: Owns the fic, nothing else.
Summary: The chronicles wherein Cho Kyuhyun trolls around, disturbing the peace. Okay, not peace. He's just going around the dorms disturbing the other members' sexy times. He's a troll that way.
The dorm is quiet. No one seems to be around at the moment. Everyone has probably left for schedules. Ah. Except for two particular members…
Ryeowook heaves a long, satisfied sigh as Donghae slams into him fast and hard. He wraps his flimsy legs around the older boy’s waist to lessen the space in between them. Ryeowook likes people sticking to him and he absolutely likes Donghae so, uh, you get it.
“Donghae hyung…! Faster! I’m so close! I’m gonna—“
Ryeowook immediately peeks past Donghae and sees, by the door, a very familiar but unpleasant-to-see-at-the-moment, face. Donghae looks over his shoulder and his jaw drops, stopping midway his thrust at the sight of the interrupter.
“Ah! I can explain!” Ryeowook squeaks.
Kyuhyun closes the door behind him and looks back at Ryeowook. “Okay. Please do.”
Ryeowook suddenly feels speechless. After deciding to not wait for Ryeowook to blurt out a lame excuse, Kyuhyun grabs himself a stool from the side and sits on it.
“Do you mind?” Donghae asks when he sees Kyuhyun yawning. He’s more embarrassed than mad to be honest.
“Not really. Please go on.”
Ryeowook stammers. “I swear this isn’t what it looks like!”
Kyuhyun tilts his head to the side. “Oh,” he says. “I wasn’t aware that this could look like something else. Please do explain.”
Ryeowook falls silent again.
Donghae blinks back at Kyuhyun. “Oh. Is it my turn to talk now?”
“If you insist.”
“But I don’t know what else this looks like either,” Donghae muses. “Uh. But maybe some kind of yoga position?”
“Oh please do tell.” Kyuhyun is obviously pretending to be interested. On the side note, Ryeowook reaches over his head to grab a pillow to cover his shameful face. He screams against it and from the corner, Kyuhyun seems pleased.
Donghae frowns. “But I only said maybe…”
“Hyung… Stop it,” Ryeowook says against the pillow.
Kyuhyun rubs his chin thoughtfully at the pair. “How about dogs in heat?”
Ryeowook pulls away from the pillow and looks incredulously at Kyuhyun. “Ewww!”
Donghae sighs. “Well, you’re not helping, Wookie.”
“Oh. Whose underwear is that?” Kyuhyun points at the ground where his two hyungs’ clothes are scattered around. “I have a similar one now that I recall. Interesting.”
“Uh. Okay then. You must probably be on your way now, right?” Donghae says with little hope. Ryeowook smiles at that.
“No, not really. I just noticed the underwear,” Kyuhyun replies. “Oh and that shirt. It’s the one from SPAO. Don’t you ever get tired of those?”
Ryeowook looks over to the shirt and back at Kyuhyun. “Oh but the colors are pretty.”
“Oh like how pink you are right now?”
Ryeowook suddenly changes moods and sits up a little. “I swear this is the first time! I didn’t even know what I got myself into!”
“Ha! Lies! How dare you Wookie!” Donghae screams in dismay and thrusts himself, surprising the poor eternal maknae greatly. Ryeowook whimpers in shock.
Kyuhyun uncrosses his legs for a minute then crosses them back. “You do know that that isn’t punishment for him right?”
Kyuhyun nods. “Yes.”
“How do you know?” Donghae raises an eyebrow at the younger boy. Kyuhyun merely shrugs.
“I watch porn.”
Ryeowook brings his palms up to his face and squeals in disgust. “How can you say it so openly? Eww!”
“How can you two be so open?” Kyuhyun deadpans. Ryeowook’s mouth opens up in a big ‘O’.
“Oh we used lube.” Donghae smiles in some kind of self-praised victory. Under him, Ryeowook chews his bottom lip in annoyance.
Kyuhyun folds his arms over his chest. “Good for you. Did you manage to watch the news today?”
“No. Why?” Donghae answers since Ryeowook is too busy thrashing his head back and forth on the mattress.
“We are in a situation! Have everyone forgotten?!” Ryeowook finally shouts. No one pays attention to him. Thus, he thrashes his head back on the pillow.
“Apparently, the won to dollar exchange rate increased. Isn’t that swell?” Kyuhyun says aloud and not aiming the question at anyone in particular. But Donghae takes it.
“Really? That is swell!” the excited fishy jiggles in delight. Ryeowook keeps his moans to himself.
Kyuhyun smirks. “As much as Wookie is, probably. Hm?”
“Aah! Don’t talk like that!” Ryeowook screeches.
“Are my big words confusing you?”
“Then why are you screaming your head off?”
Kyuhyun frowns. “Spit it out! Oh wait. Nothing’s in your mouth right now.”
Donghae decides to interrupt his dongsaengs’ dispute. “Are we still talking about the dollar exchange? What mouth?”
Ryeowook takes hold of Donghae’s arms and shakes them lightly. He’s desperate. “Hyung! Make him stop!”
“Ugh. Never mind. I’m just going to lie here until this is all over with.”
Kyuhyun nods at Ryeowook. “Oh you’d like that.”
Ryeowook nods back. “Yes. Yes I would. No! That’s not what I meant—“
“Right,” Kyuhyun says. “Did you know that cockroaches can survive without their heads for days?”
Ryeowook glares at the younger boy. “So???”
“I’m asking if you knew. Duh.”
“No. I didn’t know.”
“Well now you do. Ain’t that swell?” Kyuhyun says that last part with pure sarcasm. Ryeowook feels utterly hurt by it, no doubt.
“There’s no swelling!”
Donghae suddenly gets back to the conversation and holds Ryeowook close. “Is this the time for me to thrust again?” he asks but thrusts anyway. The boy under him moans shamelessly.
“Oh I’m sorry Wookie! Did it hurt?” Donghae panics and cups Ryeowook’s cheeks with his hands. The two share a moment of silence.
Ryeowook shakes his head. “No. You just caught me off guard.”
“I’m sorry. I got lost in the conversation and I had nothing to say so I acted.” Donghae bows his head in apology. This time, Ryeowook cups his hyung’s cheeks lovingly.
“It’s okay hyung. Just be a bit gentler next time.”
“Oh I sure will,” Donghae says and does a thrust trial. “Is that better?”
Ryeowook nods happily. “Yes, yes.”
“Swell~” Donghae follow-ups.
Ryeowook suddenly feels like something’s missing. He looks past Donghae again and the stool is left empty.
“Wha— where did he go?”
Ryeowook shakes his head. “Okay. Never mind.”
Just then, Kyuhyun pops his head into the room. “I ninja-ed away, ya know?”
“Then ninja away again,” Ryeowook shoos the younger boy away.
Kyuhyun blinks idly. “Then that wouldn’t be ninja anymore. Not swell.”
Probably for the first time that day, Ryeowook has the strength to roll his eyes in annoyance. “Why you little—“
Kyuhyun vanishes. Like a ninja. Donghae still doesn’t know the who Ryeowook was talking about. Not swell at all.
A/N: Why the won to dollar exchange rate? Cockroaches? Idek. O.O But what I do know is that Cho Kyuhyun is the cutest troll evah. He doesn't even seem like he's trolling and he is most certainly not annoying. xD Well, he may be annoying to the pairings. Lololol. Pairings are random, yeah? Sorry 'bout that. D: Comments are very much appreciated. Be it good or bad, anything's welcome! ~^^